A life with Christ isn’t always all rainbows.

Psalm 80 is a brutally honest prayer.  ”O God, How long will you be angry Against the prayer of Your people?  You have fed them with the bread of tears, and given them tears to drink in great measure.  You have made us a strife to our neighbors, And our enemies laugh among themselves.” (Psalm 80:4-6)

Tell God how you really feel.  But do note how the prayer started and ended.  The beginning is full of praises of God’s sovereignty and of His name.  He ends his prayer admitting that he needs God, and that only God alone can help him, “Restore us, O God; Cause Your face to shine, And we shall be saved!”

Be real with God, he desires to hear all of your troubles and is only waiting for you to ask him to move into your life and work in a huge way through it.

“I am ready to hear [your] prayers for those blessings, and I am ready to grant [you] [your] requests.” Ezekiel 36:37

Develop deeper relationships with people who you can grow with and can stand up to the hard rocks of life.  Talk about bigger things than football, music or movies, those things aren’t bad, interests are great things and are great to talk about and have in common with our friends.  But…

What about asking questions like:  What are you dreams?  What are your life goals? How have you grown as a believer this week?  How can I pray for you?

And then you can follow up with them on those things:  How are you doing with that dream of yours?  I read this verse and I thought of you.  Pray for them, with them, not just when you leave their presence.  Let’s grow as a church, as a body of Christ.

The Bible is a story about Love, not rules.

The post leading to this is the book of Ezekiel chapter 36 without any narrative contexts, leaving only what God called Ezekiel to deliver to the people of Israel.

You may read it here.  Read it a couple times and then come back to this.

There are so many points in this chapter that God is speaking to us, right now, no matter where you are in your walk, I can only hope to cover a smidgen of what is there.

The relationship I found while reading throughout this chapter is that Israel, aka the mountains of Israel, and the people, are all relating to me. When God is speaking about the valleys, hills, ravines, mountains or land of Israel, He is speaking to my very being, my essence, who He created me to be, what He has called me to be.  When he is speaking is speaking to the people of Israel, he is speaking to who I am now, a man who is or was living my life as my own, full of sin, separation from God, independent isolation, slave to evil.

In verses 1 through 5, God says:

Your enemies have taunted you… attacked you from all directions, and now you are possessed by many nations.  You are objects of much mocking and slander.  I speak to the hills and mountains… ruined wastes and long-deserted cities that have been destroyed and mocked by foreign nations everywhere.  My jealous anger is on fire against these nations… because they have shown utter contempt for me by gleefully taking my land for themselves as plunder.

Applying this to myself:

My enemies have taunted me, attacked me from all directions with evil, lies and sin and now I am possessed by many different thoughts, beliefs, actions.  I am an object of much mocking and slander.  God speaks to who he created me to be, the ‘me’ that is now tainted and destroyed with sin and evil.  God is jealous and angry against these evils and sins because it has caused me to run from God, taking my life as my own, making my own path with my own truths.

If you apply this way of thinking throughout the entire chapter you will be amazed, yet again, by the Glory of God, his sovereignty and his desire for me to become the purpose for what he created me to be.  The only way for me to become that, is through only Him.  And the reason for me to become that is ONLY for the Glory of God, so that all who see me, will see God.

I cannot help but notice how many times God mentions what he originally created me to be.  It is very clear that God has a purpose for me, he very much so desires that purpose to be fulfilled in me, that he can make that happen, by fulfilling that purpose people will come to God.

The last few verses God says that he is ready to hear my prayers for the blessings he will give me, and he is ready to grant me my requests, he will multiply them and fill my life with fruit and people on fire for God.

It absolutely boggles my mind how this chapter, yet directed so clearly to Israel and the people of Israel, is actually a very complex and simple calling to my life.

I ask you this, are you relying on yourself and your own understanding to find and create your purpose?  Or are you allowing God to reveal what he has truly created you to be?  The question is not “What is my purpose?”, the question is “Am I living a self driven life, or am I living a God driven life?”.

God be in you.

When I read the bible the number one thing on my mind is that there is a reason for every single word in the bible.  As I read it, am I just reading it, or am I understanding why it is there?  Sometimes I will just read a paragraph and I’ll say to myself, “What the heck is the point of that?” and I’ll spend the rest of the evening, or week, figuring out why that is in the bible.  This happened to me today as I read Ezekiel 36.

I opened my bible and God took me to Ezekiel 36.  At first I had a difficult time reading it in practical terms.  I mean, it IS talking an awful lot about Israel and ancestors and ancient times and it keeps going in and out of context of Ezekiel speaking and what God told Ezekiel to say to the people of Israel.

As I read it, I found that it was much easier to follow in how it applies to me by taking all of the narrative contexts out.  Read it multiple times and you should start seeing quite a bit of patterns, and quite a bit of practical points in how it applies to you. In parenthesis after every section I have put footnote thoughts on how this applies to me.

Ezekiel 36:

(1 – 5)

Your enemies have taunted you, saying, ‘Aha! Now the ancient heights belong to us!’.  Your enemies have attacked you from all directions, and now you are possessed by many nations.  You are the object of much mocking and slander.  I speak to the hills and mountains, ravines and valleys, and to ruined wastes and long-deserted cities that have been destroyed and mocked by foreign nations everywhere.  My jealous anger is on fire against these nations, especially Edom, because they have shown utter contempt for me by gleefully taking my land for themselves as plunder. (Enslaved to sin and evil)

(6 – 12)

I am full of fury because you have suffered shame before the surrounding nations.  I have raised my hand and sworn an oath that those nations will soon have their turn at suffering shame.  But the mountains of Israel will produce heavy crops of fruit to prepare for my people’s return — and they will be coming home again soon!  I am concerned for you, and I will come to help you.  Your ground will be tilled and your crops planted.  I will greatly increase the population of Israel, and the ruined cities will be rebuilt and filled with people.  Not only the people, but your flocks and herds will also greatly multiply.  O mountains of Israel, I will bring people to live on you ounce again.  I will make you even more prosperous than you were before.  Then you will know that I am the Lord.  I will cause my people to walk on you once again, and you will be their inheritance.  You will never again devour their children.  (Freed from sin and evil by God for his purpose for you)

(13 – 15)

Now the other nations taunt you, saying ‘Israel is a land that devours her own people!’  But you will never again devour your people or bereave your nation.  I will not allow those foreign nations to sneer at you, and you will no longer be shamed by them or cause your nation to fall.  (A change in heart)

(16 – 21)

Son of man, when the people of Israel were living in their own land, they defiled it by their evil deeds.  To me their conduct was as filthy as a bloody rag.  They polluted the land with murder and by worshiping idols, so I poured out my fury on them.  I scattered them to many lands to punish them for the evil way they had lived.  But when they were scattered among the nations, they brought dishonor to my holy name.  For the nations said, ‘These are the people of the Lord, and he couldn’t keep them safe in his own land!’  Then I was concerned for my holy name, which had been dishonored by my people throughout the world.  (The purpose is all for God’s glory, not yours, everything is for God and only God, he IS GOD)

(22 – 24)

I am bringing you back again but not because you deserve it.  I am doing it to protect my holy name, which you dishonored while you were scattered among the nations.  And when I reveal my holiness through you before their very eyes.  For I will gather you up from all the nations and bring you home again to your land.  (God’s promise is to free us)

(25 – 27)

Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean.  Your filth will be washed away and you will no longer worship idols.  And I will give you a new heart with new and right desires, and I will put a new Spirit in you so you will obey my laws and do whatever I command. (God lives within us, with a changed heart, a full spirit and our will aligns to God’s)

(28 – 32)

And you will live in Israel, the land I gave your ancestors long ago.  You will be my people, and I will be your God.  I will cleanse you of your filthy behavior.  I will give you good crops, and I will abolish famine in the land.  I will give you great harvests from your fruit trees and fields, and never again will the surrounding nations be able to scoff at your land for its famines.  Then you will remember your past sins and hate yourselves for all the evil things you did.  But remember I am not doing this because you deserve it.  O my people of Israel, you should be utterly ashamed of all you have done! (The threats and comments about us will begin to transform into curiosity and hope)

(33 – 36)

When I cleanse you from your sins, I will bring people to live in your cities, and the ruins will be rebuilt.  The fields that used to lie empty and desolate — a shock to all who passed by — will again b farmed.  And when I bring you back, people will say, ‘This godforsaken land is now like Eden’s garden! The ruined cities now have strong walls, and they are filled with people!’  Then the nations all around — all those still left — will know that I, the Lord, rebuilt the ruins and planted lush crops in the wilderness.  For I, the Lord, have promised this, and I will do it.  (God will restore us)

(37 – 38)

I am ready to hear Israel’s prayers for those blessings, and I am ready to grant them their requests.  I will multiply them like the sacred flocks that fill Jerusalem’s streets at the time of her festivals.  The ruined cities will be crowded with people once more, and everyone will know that I am the Lord.  (God is waiting on you, all you have to do is ask)

I often think about my life in the past in awe and wonder, how blessed I have been and how amazing God truly is.  I live my life in the now, which I think is very important

Matthew 6:30-34

³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

However we must dream and we must set goals in our lives, dreams and goals help us grow and feel fulfilled in God’s glory and creation.  If we don’t dream or don’t set life goals it makes life very easy to become a cyclic redundancy where you go to work, you come home and watch tv, you eat dinner, you watch more tv, you go to sleep, wake up, go to work and the day starts all over again.  I think dreams and goals are very important, for most of us it’s what drives the very nature of our minds; sets up the stage to accomplish amazing things.  Having dreams and setting goals is important but why not take it a step further, what if we had dreams and set goals and involved God into those things.  What if we prayed about them and asked God to help those dreams and goals become a reality.  And furthermore, what if we ask God to help us create new goals and dreams, involve God in them.

God, show me your creation and power, give me the desire to do things that are unimaginable and only possible through you, I know not where to start but I know you can show me the way, I ask this of you please, show me the way and help me see what you have meant for me to see.

Ask yourself this: When was the last time I asked someone, a good friend, family member or fresh acquaintance, “What are some of your dreams or life goals?”.  Before this last week I don’t remember the last time I asked someone that, and why not!?  In prioritizing relationships and loving all I think we have an obligation, not only that, but we should desire to help others achieve those dreams and goals.  By talking about them is one step in helping them become real.

I hope you will not only think about what your dreams and life goals are and even write them down, blog them, journal them, sticky note them, whatever, but knowing your dreams and goals are very important in achieving dreams and goals, wouldn’t you say?  I also hope you will ask others what their dreams and goals are, help make them more tangible and non theoretical, let’s make our dreams and goals a reality and let’s involve others in them.

Planning allows a destination.  There are many many many roads to walk on and many diversions to take so how do you know where to go?  The way I view planning is: How can you plan a trip or a destination accurately without planning either in the beginning of the trip or along the way?  If you drive through the country with no plan you drive aimlessly with no direction, goal and quite honestly a feeling of empty accomplishment – but that’s an accomplishment right!?!?  It is the same with your very own life!

One thing I’ve been questioning and churning in my head lately is when to plan and when to let God direct me.  I’ve always been a planner, however I have learned to leave space open for spontaneity, otherwise I will grow frustrated and disappointed that I am not able to be involved with certain things.  Also having space for spontaneous events allows time to reflect and experiment with things that are new to you in the now and weren’t ever considered for planning in the past.

All that wasn’t new for me but the big question on my mind was “Is it healthy, spiritually, for me to plan my life with such hope, desire and aspirations?”, because from talking with others I will mention I plan on – and later have the feeling that I NEED to say, “if it’s God’s will”, or “if God directs me to follow that plan”, etc.  When I get that feeling to say that I begin questioning why, naturally.  The question to answer the why is “What kind of planning is healthy?  Can I be at peace of mind and feel like I am allowing God to direct my life if I continue to plan?”.

After searching, I found a lot of scripture to help me figure this out, the main one I appreciated and that helped me answer this particular thought was Proverbs 16.

¹ To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.

² All a man’s ways seem innocent to him,
but motives are weighed by the LORD.

³ Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.

⁴ The LORD works out everything for his own ends—
even the wicked for a day of disaster.

⁵ The LORD detests all the proud of heart.
Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

⁶ Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
through the fear of the LORD a man avoids evil.

⁷ When a man’s ways are pleasing to the LORD,
he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

⁸ Better a little with righteousness
than much gain with injustice.

⁹ In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.

¹⁰ The lips of a king speak as an oracle,
and his mouth should not betray justice.

¹¹ Honest scales and balances are from the LORD;
all the weights in the bag are of his making.

¹² Kings detest wrongdoing,
for a throne is established through righteousness.

¹³ Kings take pleasure in honest lips;
they value a man who speaks the truth.

¹⁴ A king’s wrath is a messenger of death,
but a wise man will appease it.

¹⁵ When a king’s face brightens, it means life;
his favor is like a rain cloud in spring.

¹⁶ How much better to get wisdom than gold,
to choose understanding rather than silver!

¹⁷ The highway of the upright avoids evil;
he who guards his way guards his life.

¹⁸ Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.

¹⁹ Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed
than to share plunder with the proud.

²⁰ Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,
and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.

²¹ The wise in heart are called discerning,
and pleasant words promote instruction. ^[a]

²² Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it,
but folly brings punishment to fools.

²³ A wise man’s heart guides his mouth,
and his lips promote instruction. ^[b]

²⁴ Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

²⁵ There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.

²⁶ The laborer’s appetite works for him;
his hunger drives him on.

²⁷ A scoundrel plots evil,
and his speech is like a scorching fire.

²⁸ A perverse man stirs up dissension,
and a gossip separates close friends.

²⁹ A violent man entices his neighbor
and leads him down a path that is not good.

³⁰ He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity;
he who purses his lips is bent on evil.

³¹ Gray hair is a crown of splendor;
it is attained by a righteous life.

³² Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

³³ The lot is cast into the lap,
but its every decision is from the LORD.

Especially verse 9: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”  This made me see more clearly that planning IS good and healthy for you but planning doesn’t mean it’s set in stone and that’s what’s happening, there’s 2 pieces in planning in order to make it practical to your life, there’s planning and the determination of that plan.  The key is allowing God to determine your plans and have sovereignty over your plan.  The best way I understand this is, God doesn’t want to micromanage you and he is the creator of creativity, he wants you to be creative and have desires of your own and to use your creativity to plan ahead.  But just like a great father that he is, he desires to be involved in the decision of your plans, and again like a great father he is, he allows you to invite him into the decisions.  How awesome is it that he loves us so much that not only has he given us an excellent example of the relationship we have with him – father and son – but he allows US to decide.  HE hopes, desires and aspires that we love HIM so much and value HIM so much that we involve HIM.

That is simply amazing.

God is doing some incredible things in and around the city of Saint Louis.  I never thought that I would be living in Saint Louis, a little over a year ago I never would have thought that I would be in the position I am now.  Owning a house, working from home doing something I am totally passionate about, and best of all being a part of a community / family which has exploded at Windsor.

Quarterlife = A ministry at Windsor Crossing for 18 – 20’somethings

Last August of ‘08 I remember very vividly going to the Tuesday night lab (learning and belonging) group which would later become Quarterlife.  We would occasionally meet at a small Chinese restaurant and fit at no more than 2 tables get our food then head over to the church to do our study on the previous weekend service.  There was an average of 6 people who attended and it was a trying and growing experience for us all to stick with it with the hope and trust that God had a plan for our tiny group.

Not more than a year went by and this small group of awesome people turned in to a huge awesome family.  Now, an average of roughly 100 people attend the Tuesday night ‘quarterlife midweek’.  The leaders and core members of this group all have fascinating stories and it is incredibly clear that God has directed each of our lives to meet at this midweek and be a part of this family.  A year ago, I was 98% for sure moving back to Chicago because I had abandoned the hope of establishing a community here, God told me to be patient and WOW does he have a plan in store.

I am very excited about what is to come in the next months and coming year.  Knowing that this family has a passion and heart to make God’s Kingdom expand in ways that we could never imagine and knowing that this could never have become what it is without God simply blows my mind.

Yay God!  I pray that we become a community, a family, not just to build relationships but to do your work wherever you call us, that we get our hands dirty and share the truth of Jesus and restore this city.  I pray you give us the strength, courage, peace and trust to follow your plan and your direction.

Amen, So be it!  For it is Your will, not mine.

Pray for these young people of Quarterlife and that we may do whatever God asks of us.

Tonight I hosted the first House of Worship at mi casa.  Invited a few close friends who I knew were very interested in this and although if no one showed up it would still be amazing yet there were 13 of us praising Jesus, the only one who deserves our praise.  Earlier this week, it was tough for me to imagine how to even begin this night and I just laid it in God’s hands because he is in control of this vision I have, and it was more amazing and truly a memorable night.  Thanks for all of you who shared this experience with me, I am looking forward to more of these nights.

I pray that these nights create a stronger community and deeper relationships with each other and with our Lord and Savior.  I pray that the community and relationships we build from this grow with the desire to go out in the world and illuminate God’s Glory onto the world, and that these nights will light a fire in our hearts to share Jesus with everyone we connect with at any level.

I heard somewhere, don’t quite remember where but it goes something like:

How have we become so afraid to share Jesus with others that we often times crawl into our corner and completely ignore the topic around others all together.  If there were someone standing in the street and I saw a car coming toward him, but he didn’t see the car, I would do everything I could to scream out to him and tell him about the car blazing to hit him.  Why are we not like this when it comes to something far more important than a car coming after you, Jesus is there for us always yet we so often forget or refuse to let others know of his gift.

How true and profane is that?!?  We should want to tell someone about our Savior Jesus like a car is coming to hit them and they don’t know it and more!

Take that and chew on it for a bit.

I was driving home today and there was a huge storm all around me, lightning everywhere, very intense lightning, but it was not raining or windy around me.  It reminded me of where I am at in life right now, this insane storm around me changing every second of the day, yet I still had strength, courage and guidance.  God has put his hand in my life and I have seen it more magnified in the past week and a half then ever.  It’s amazing how safe we are in his hands and how trust is so very hard sometimes, yet has such an overwhelming return.  God is awesome!

Lately I’ve been feeling like things have been crashing down all around me.  Yet, at the same time I feel I have been settling it all in better position than they were before, protected.  Life moves so very fast that once you stop and look at everything going on around you, you realize that this is beyond you, something bigger is in the works and helping you through it all.

In the last week and a half I was in an accident where my car was totaled, I’ve made an offer on my first house, I’ve been given the opportunity to fly up to Penn State for a 3rd interview on site for a fantastic job and I’ve met a girl beyond my dreams.  All of this while I was sick and feeling physically terrible.

No one was sent to the hospital from the accident, thank God.  I don’t have a bruise on my body, not even an ache from the accident, yet looking at my car it seems I should be paralyzed or not even breathing.  Insurance is working beautifully and my loan is taken care of.  This has created an opportunity to buy a better car for less than my previous loan balance.

My housing search and pre approval went flawlessly and I found a house I am absolutely in love with, perfect location, perfect potential, perfect timing.

If I wrote a profile of the company I would like to work for, the company for this job has hit all points.  If I get this job, I would be programming from home for an increase in pay, for a company I absolutely love in a great team environment.

I thank God for protecting me and giving me strength to push forward through all this, and knowing he has plan for all of this makes me feel at peace.