More and more good discussions have been coming up about how God works through us in astonishing ways, more specifically through our non christ like experiences.

When I was younger I used to party a lot and was apart of a lot of things that I do not allow to be in my life anymore, such as drinking, girls, language, distasteful jokes, etc.  I’ve gone through series of phases in my life where I was a christian during those experiences, to choosing to no longer take part in those activities but still wanting to, to seeing my friends and others live that life and saying to myself “Man, they are totally missing out and they don’t even know it!”.  Others may look at people who party till they puke and smoke and sleep around and will judge, disrespect or totally miss the fact that they ARE our brothers and sisters and they simply are lost.

I feel God has given me those experiences so that I have a deep desire in my heart to lead them to the voice of truth and love.  I could have easily gotten into deep trouble when I was living that life, like being arrested, injured, addicted, or getting myself into a situation of getting someone pregnant or worse!  Yet I was protected through it all!  God protected me so that I can be the man I am today, freed with the only truth and love that satisfies that emptiness I, and so many others, searched for.  We search for them in all the wrong places only to find ourselves to continue to search in what seems to be a never ending labyrinth.

Does anyone else feel this way?  That God may have allowed us to experience what we did and protected us so that we can have a deep longing to later look at others and desire to show them how they can finally fill that emptiness?

I pray; God give us the strength and control to be in this world but not of it, to act upon the desires in our hearts to search for those who are lost and lead them to you!  Give me the understanding and help me be humble in that I am NOT better than those who are lost.

God is doing some incredible things in and around the city of Saint Louis.  I never thought that I would be living in Saint Louis, a little over a year ago I never would have thought that I would be in the position I am now.  Owning a house, working from home doing something I am totally passionate about, and best of all being a part of a community / family which has exploded at Windsor.

Quarterlife = A ministry at Windsor Crossing for 18 – 20’somethings

Last August of ‘08 I remember very vividly going to the Tuesday night lab (learning and belonging) group which would later become Quarterlife.  We would occasionally meet at a small Chinese restaurant and fit at no more than 2 tables get our food then head over to the church to do our study on the previous weekend service.  There was an average of 6 people who attended and it was a trying and growing experience for us all to stick with it with the hope and trust that God had a plan for our tiny group.

Not more than a year went by and this small group of awesome people turned in to a huge awesome family.  Now, an average of roughly 100 people attend the Tuesday night ‘quarterlife midweek’.  The leaders and core members of this group all have fascinating stories and it is incredibly clear that God has directed each of our lives to meet at this midweek and be a part of this family.  A year ago, I was 98% for sure moving back to Chicago because I had abandoned the hope of establishing a community here, God told me to be patient and WOW does he have a plan in store.

I am very excited about what is to come in the next months and coming year.  Knowing that this family has a passion and heart to make God’s Kingdom expand in ways that we could never imagine and knowing that this could never have become what it is without God simply blows my mind.

Yay God!  I pray that we become a community, a family, not just to build relationships but to do your work wherever you call us, that we get our hands dirty and share the truth of Jesus and restore this city.  I pray you give us the strength, courage, peace and trust to follow your plan and your direction.

Amen, So be it!  For it is Your will, not mine.

Pray for these young people of Quarterlife and that we may do whatever God asks of us.

Tonight I hosted the first House of Worship at mi casa.  Invited a few close friends who I knew were very interested in this and although if no one showed up it would still be amazing yet there were 13 of us praising Jesus, the only one who deserves our praise.  Earlier this week, it was tough for me to imagine how to even begin this night and I just laid it in God’s hands because he is in control of this vision I have, and it was more amazing and truly a memorable night.  Thanks for all of you who shared this experience with me, I am looking forward to more of these nights.

I pray that these nights create a stronger community and deeper relationships with each other and with our Lord and Savior.  I pray that the community and relationships we build from this grow with the desire to go out in the world and illuminate God’s Glory onto the world, and that these nights will light a fire in our hearts to share Jesus with everyone we connect with at any level.

I heard somewhere, don’t quite remember where but it goes something like:

How have we become so afraid to share Jesus with others that we often times crawl into our corner and completely ignore the topic around others all together.  If there were someone standing in the street and I saw a car coming toward him, but he didn’t see the car, I would do everything I could to scream out to him and tell him about the car blazing to hit him.  Why are we not like this when it comes to something far more important than a car coming after you, Jesus is there for us always yet we so often forget or refuse to let others know of his gift.

How true and profane is that?!?  We should want to tell someone about our Savior Jesus like a car is coming to hit them and they don’t know it and more!

Take that and chew on it for a bit.

This Friday I will be hosting the first ever Praisin Jesus Party at my house. I thought it would be beneficial for me and others to describe the vision that has been placed in my heart for what I see this becoming if it’s God’s plan, and I DO feel that God has placed this vision in my heart for a purpose.

30 years or so ago small groups exploded on the scene of college ministry, where friends would get together in dorms, apartments or houses and talk about the Word of God.  It was an age where you could bring your friends, christian or non christian, and it was good!

I feel that the ability to bring your non christian friends to these small groups have gotten more difficult in this age / generation.  I mean, think about it, especially if you’re going on your own, without knowing anyone there, it’s intimidating, scary, uncomfortable and awkward – if you’re a non christian and you’re not an enormously outgoing extrovert.  Coming at it with a non enormously extrovert perspective: I will have to talk to people about things that may not be comfortable for me to talk to, there will probably be awkward silences and moments, I can’t leave once I get there, I will be the center of attention because I’m the new guy and it could most definitely be completely boring to me and a complete waste of my time.

I view small groups, in this generation, as a place for already believers of Christ to get together and dig deeper and grow in the Word of God, to build those relationships that much more and to figure out what life is all about.  So that poses the question, what are ways that I can reveal Jesus to my atheistic or agnostic friend?  I, from experience, know that it is most definitely a hard thing to share and talk about with a friend like that, even if it’s your best friend!

The vision I have is what I feel to be the new bang where people can attend and enjoy no matter where they are in their walk with Christ.  At this Night of Worship there would be very very low lighting, mainly no lighting except on the band and small lights on the side and on the tables in the back with very simple projection for the words.  This will be a place where you can go for a variety of needs.  I could go to just read my bible on the side and dig deeper into the word while having worship music being played around me, I can go and pour my heart out in worship without the feeling of being watched or judged, I can pray, I can go knowing there will be someone there who I can pull aside and talk to, or just sit and enjoy some good music.  A huge part of this is afterwords a bunch of people will go out to eat or just hang out and make relationships and get to know others.

In order for this to be possible I know a few things are required:

1. God – In order for this to happen, I don’t want it to become because we are fenomenal at marketing or spreading the word of the event, it must happen because God wills it and is the purpose of it.

2. A very very strong core team – The worship will be organic and not feel like a song set, the worship leader will play whatever song he/she feels the Holy Spirit is leading them to.  In order to do this, a band with good experience and love of a large list of worship songs, an experienced leader who can discern what song to play next or lead in to would be, an experienced band who can follow the leader’s song suggestions, a tech team who can pull up the words to the song quickly, all of these things are needed and need a strong core team.

3. Recognition – people come from all over in their walk with Christ and come back again and again!

4. A beginning – This vision will not happen from the start.  It will take time and prayer and listening, training, following and yielding to God.  As I mentioned earlier, the team will need to be very experienced and that takes time.  The originality requires patience and the boldness to just start doing it.

So where do we start?  After much discussion and brainstorming the best place to start is to just start having worship parties at a place and time and continue to do it.  Pray about it and as God to guide and direct this.  All we need is someone with a guitar, a voice and some worship songs.  After talking with folks on the team at Windsor, my church, the recommendation is to get a bunch of people and just start getting together at a house and do just that, worship, pray, rejoice, praise and grow.

So that’s what we’re going to do!  This Friday from 10 – 12 at my house, you’re all invited let me know if you’d like to come and I’ll give you more details.  I pray that God will give me the boldness to begin and that he will be in this.  That all who come will love and be loved, and that we can all grow together.

If you have any feedback, please let me know by either commenting, emailing me, a phone call or in person, I would love to gain any feedback you may have.  And please pray for this, it has been on my heart for a long long time and it’s exciting and scary at the same time.  I cannot believe that I am actually planning this instead of just talking about it.

Thank you God for this house you have given me, to have the room and the privacy (sound wise) to do this and thank you for placing this vision in my heart, give me strength, courage and a yielding heart for this.  Amen.

I’ve been thinking about what this house means to me.  Have already had a few conversations on our deck about how much of a blessing it is and what my plans are for it.  Most the conversation includes upgrades and desires to construct for the house, but there have been a couple good conversations about what I suppose the mission of this house will be and how I can use this house as a tool in God’s kingdom, after all, it is HIS house, and HE has blessed me with the abilities and events that have led to me acquiring this house.

If I were to put a mission statement for the house (Garet and I talked about this), it would be: May this house be a place that brings peace to all who come, in God’s name.  A place where all are welcome and where relationships take root and grow and blossom.

I’ve had a deep passion to be a part of a worship experience.  One that is not just one night but every night and comfortable no matter where you are in your walk with Christ.  But only recently have I realized that the passion has been placed in my heart to not only be a part of it but maybe it’s there to start it.  Why wouldn’t this house be a House of Worship?

Romans 12:3

³For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not
think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think
of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure
of faith God has given you. (NIV)

I’m young and still growing.  It fascinates me how often we take pride in ourselves and in our talents and skills but do not give that pride to God, the one who gave it all to us.

In my opinion, and let me know how you feel, pride is not a bad thing – when in the right place.  If we raise ourselves up on our own pedestal we are actually standing upside down underground, but if we raise God up in us for what he has blessed us with, light shall shine down upon it.

I got stuck in a rut today with a situation and I got in that mode where I am right and everyone else is wrong.  How thankful I am for having loving people to kick me down off my pedestal and remind me of my place.  “Think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you”.  This could be broken down as:  Think of yourself with a serious, sensible and solemn opinion with complete confidence or trust God has given you.

Looking back on all the times I was unhealthily proud, was I ever judging myself in accordance to a serious or sensible opinion of who I trust God has made me to be?  Definitely not.  I had an overly zealous opinion of who I think I WAS.  Period. Why would I ever want to be like that?  As a Christ follower with all my desire to glorify God, why would I ever want to have an opinion of myself that made me look foolish and disconnected from the Holy Spirit?  My answer is never, and because of that I think an important question, and more importantly is the answer to that question, is: What can I do to not do that or be like that again?

As a saved man in this fallen and broken world, I am fallen and I am broken.  My mind, while in connection with the Holy Spirit, is free from sin.  But when I act upon my body’s will I am enslaved to sin.  Take note in Romans 7:22-23…

Romans 7:22-23

In my mind, I am in happy agreement with God’s law.  But the
rest of my body does not concur.  My bodily members are at war
with my mind (which agrees with the law), and I have become a
prisoner in this war to the rule of sin that reigns supreme in my body. (The Voice)

So the very important answer to this question is this: do exactly what Romans 12:3 says, keep a solemn opinion of yourself in the faith God has given you, but do this constantly.  I suppose a simple way of doing this is when you catch the slightest glimpse of an ungodly opinion coming out of you ask yourself, “is this an act of being a prisoner to sin or a servant to God”.  Try to remember to always be raising God up in your actions and in your thoughts.

I pray that our minds, servants and obedient to the law, Your law God, be the master of our bodies.  That we will notice when we begin to fall back into that imprisoning cell of sin, God, may you give us strength to climb out as you are always there for us, I pray we will be aware and perceptive to grab your hand and climb out from the pit of all sin, and specifically prideful sin.  Lord I pray that you break us from our sinful and fallen minds so that we can grow and be the light of this broken world with you and for you.  Not for us.  Amen.

There are aspects of our lives of which we constantly hide from others.  Hide because we are afraid, ashamed, embarrassed or something else.

I realized that with a lot of people I only express my surface self.  With other people, closer friends, I let go of a few vulnerabilities by showing a deeper side of this matt simpson.  But how deep do I show?  It amazes me that when it comes down to it, God is the only one who truly knows who I am, knows every detail of my very being!

Why do we hide these vulnerabilities?  What do we cling on to and lock up deep inside and never share?  Are we even aware of some of the things we hide of our true selves because we’ve kept them locked up for so long?  Having realized this I pray and I hope that I can say goodbye to fear and embarrassment and be my true self with EVERYONE I meet.  This world I live in, the culture, media, people, skews my mind into thinking I should only express certain things, I should only wear certain clothes, I should only speak a certain way about certain things.  Who AM I?  I know who I think I am but is there more to me?  Have I lost touch and forgotten something I’ve not expressed in so long?

I’m curious if anyone else has thought about this or what you think of this now that you’ve read it.  I’m not concerned, simply intrigued.  I’m also not disapointed in who I am, far from it, God has given me courage and guidance to live free of a lot of cages.

side note / fyi: saw the new transformers movie tonight and forget whatever reviews you read, it is a 5 star guarentee! awesome movie, much better than the first and I recommend it for all.  It does have more language in it and a little bit of sexual connotations but they are not untasteful or the like.  I thoroughly enjoyed it   Best movie I’ve seen this year for sure.

I was driving home today and there was a huge storm all around me, lightning everywhere, very intense lightning, but it was not raining or windy around me.  It reminded me of where I am at in life right now, this insane storm around me changing every second of the day, yet I still had strength, courage and guidance.  God has put his hand in my life and I have seen it more magnified in the past week and a half then ever.  It’s amazing how safe we are in his hands and how trust is so very hard sometimes, yet has such an overwhelming return.  God is awesome!

Lately I’ve been feeling like things have been crashing down all around me.  Yet, at the same time I feel I have been settling it all in better position than they were before, protected.  Life moves so very fast that once you stop and look at everything going on around you, you realize that this is beyond you, something bigger is in the works and helping you through it all.

In the last week and a half I was in an accident where my car was totaled, I’ve made an offer on my first house, I’ve been given the opportunity to fly up to Penn State for a 3rd interview on site for a fantastic job and I’ve met a girl beyond my dreams.  All of this while I was sick and feeling physically terrible.

No one was sent to the hospital from the accident, thank God.  I don’t have a bruise on my body, not even an ache from the accident, yet looking at my car it seems I should be paralyzed or not even breathing.  Insurance is working beautifully and my loan is taken care of.  This has created an opportunity to buy a better car for less than my previous loan balance.

My housing search and pre approval went flawlessly and I found a house I am absolutely in love with, perfect location, perfect potential, perfect timing.

If I wrote a profile of the company I would like to work for, the company for this job has hit all points.  If I get this job, I would be programming from home for an increase in pay, for a company I absolutely love in a great team environment.

I thank God for protecting me and giving me strength to push forward through all this, and knowing he has plan for all of this makes me feel at peace.

I’ve been getting vibes both external and internal telling me to PICK UP THAT BLOG AND BLOG. And I’m happy to come back and start journaling again.

This is a shorter entry cause I gotta jet in a few, but just wanted to commence the blog’ness.

I went to my first Second Saturday today and enjoyed it immensely. Second Saturday is an event put on through my church, Windsor Crossing, that takes place every second Saturday of the month from 815 – 2ish. We go to u-city and help improve the city by fixing up houses, cleaning up the area, making time for conversation with those in need and reaching out to the community. I have not done much volunteering at any church so this was a big step for me. I’ve always considered myself an active church member, but I suppose that was limited to going to groups and meeting people and hanging out. I feel I’m making a transformation where the world doesn’t revolve around me, where my life is an instrument, and I am not the dictator anymore! I feel that God is moving the pieces into place and positioning me and I’m super excited to see what happens and what we can do.

Peace out

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. (Ephesians 6:10-18)

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Until Next Time